I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
