So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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