We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize