I bet he comes in French.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
send nudes
from the living room?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
