Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
