I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
