so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
