i need an iv and a liver transplant
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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