My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
