well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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