She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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