She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
