Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

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(512): View more from Texas

did you find a tooth?

(254): View more from Texas

did you lose one?

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(806): View more from Texas

Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep

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(314): View more from Missouri

I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."

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(734): View more from Michigan

THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?

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