I love watching others lives come down to our level.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
