you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
