ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
