Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
