So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
