I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize