We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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