sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
