mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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