I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
