can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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