I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
