At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
