The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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