Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
