chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
