another moral hangover. fuck.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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