Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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