I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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