Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize