Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
