Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
