Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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