After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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