Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
