Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize