what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
