Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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