just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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