No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dicks are not precious.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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