dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
