I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
