I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
