I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
