I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
