Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
