How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
