Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
