Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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