Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
