Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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