I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
