you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
