What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
