he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
