I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You can't motorboat a personality
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
