dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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