Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
