Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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