I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
