im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
