He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
