Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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