we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
